When a smile makes it worth it all

This is a cry for help...

I always knew that having my own baby would be different then all the childcare I have done. I tried to trick myself into believing that I would be a natural, a pro, it wouldn't be that hard. I have been jokingly referred to as the "Baby Whisperer," people have praised my natural instincts with kids. I have been humbled. My baby doesn't sleep. I don't know if it is because my baby has reflux (we are on our second medication now), I don't know if we have done something that has made him unable to sleep or if it is simply the way he is. I don't know what is normal. I am so emotionally involved, so sleep deprived I can't tell you right from wrong, up from down or well I couldn't tell you much of anything right now. Let's review the last day and someone can tell me "hey it's normal for a six week old" or "It's the reflux." I don't even care if you say it's me. I just need to know what to do, tricks, ideas, suggestions. He went to bed blissfully last night at around 10:30 slept until 1:00 woke up and ate, then he took a half hour to get to sleep slept until 4:00am. All things so far so good. I am thinking yeah! But then he won't go back to sleep. At 5:30 I wake Mike. I can't take it anymore. He takes over I get some sleep at 7:30 I feed him again. We get him to sleep at 8:30 he sleeps until 11:00. Horray! It is now 4:30 and the longest he has slept today since 11:00 has been 20 minutes. What is up with that. Is this normal? Will he outgrow this?

I have great friends your encouragement and words of wisdom mean so much to me and to Mike. Help!

You do what works...but what if nothing works?

So Gavin has reflux. His doctor gave us some medication then asked us to wait two weeks. It has been torture. He screams in pain and only sleeps anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half and then is up for hours. He wants to eat constantly. Feedings take about 25 minutes and up so then within a half hour of finishing he wants to start again. I don't know how much more I can take. I was told at the nursing mothers group I joined to try a sling. The above picture is that very expensive sling. Even at 40% off I am still ashamed to say how much I paid for it, but sleep deprivation and a pure desire to help my child made me do it. I just laid Gavin down and am hoping he will sleep more than an hour. I thought I would sneak off to write this while waiting to make sure he doesn't just sleep 20 minutes. There is nothing more frustrating then falling asleep only to be awoken in 15-20 minutes. Please pray for us we need it!

By the time Christmas came Gavin out grew his Christmas outfit. We managed to squeeze him into it. The Santa hat gave him a rash for a few days but isn't he cute?

For those whose addresses we don't have...

Oh what a week...


After visiting the lactation consultant or the pediatrician every day for the last 3 weeks I am glad to have a day off today. However, I don't have the energy today to do a long blog. Gavin and I both caught a cold. The poor guy just hasn't been himself and quite frankly neither have I. Both stuffy and sneezy and with his eye goopy we have plodded along through the weekend with the help of Grandma and Grandpa Bruce. It was wonderful to have a little help and Mike and I snuck off to have lunch together.

Gavin is changing so much. It is really scary how quick that happens.

The case of the escaping peepee...

One would think with the amount of diapers I have changed and the seemingly simplistic method to putting a diaper on I would have no problems but that would be wrong. As of yesterday the pee will not stay in the diaper. Gavin has managed to pee out of nearly every outfit I have put him in. Sadly, I have been peed on many times by other little boys and even a few little girls and have learned to keep that diaper on for as long as possible when changing and to quickly replace it with a new one. Even with my quick speed and experience I have been peed on and pooped on this week. I know that I am not alone in all this but how the pee makes it out of a seemingly well applied diaper I have yet to figure out.

Below are some pictures from the week. I hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed each little moment.

Daddy enjoys every moment he can never holding out on hugs and kisses.

Mommy isn't making enough milk to keep up with the little man so here is Gavin's first bottle.

When Mommy loves something that doesn't quite fit yet.

A Mommy's love is very overwhelming, so are Mommy's hormones making her cry over everything.

Our little man is changing so much everyday.

Gavin's friend Koda who is 3 1/2 weeks older.

Thank you to everyone for all their love and support. It has made a difficult and exciting two weeks that much easier.

Mr. Houdini Hands the magic sleeper

Having worked in an infant daycare I would like to consider myself an experienced swaddler but I have met my swaddling match, Houdini Hands, otherwise known as Gavin. No matter how tight the swaddle no matter the method or secret trick you pull out most always those kissable cute hands will find their way out and up under his chin or draped across his face earning him the new title of Houdini Hands. Now you might be wondering does Houdini Hands have other tricks. Of course, what would a good magician be if he only had one trick. Houdini Hands has the ability to sleep through EVERYTHING! Three screaming little boys running past him with a singing musical toy, slamming doors, telephones, dogs barking next to his head. His specialty though is attempting to sleep through feedings causing his weight to mysteriously disappear. Trying everything we know how and a few tricks from books and the internet our little man takes about a half hour to awake to the point where he will even make an attempt at feeding. Leaving his Mommy and Daddy stumped and his pediatrician to suggest formula supplementing, crushing some of my optimism for breastfeeding success. While it is still possible breastfeeding is hard and I give high regards to anyone who has accomplished this long term, well actually to anyone who makes through a week. I must say it would be easy to quit right now but for the sake of Houdini Hands the magic sleeper I will persevere. I will leave you with Mike and his mini-me Gavin who both not only sleep like rocks and through anything but I often wake to find them sleeping in the same position, talk about cute.

This blog has been brought to you by two feeding intermissions. This is the way we plan our day, plan our day, plan our day, this is the way we plan our day from early in the morning.