Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to...

I was approached about working Full Time at work about a week and a half ago. I don't know if I will ever change but I am a sucker for helping people out even at my own expense and despite my inner longing to say no I heard the words "yes I would love to" come sliding out of my mouth. So last week was the first week I would work 8-4 everyday. Only Monday I was sick and tired so I stayed home. I got to work the next day and I was greeted with a pile of mistakes I had made the week before. On a normal day I wouldn't have appreciated it but after months of feeling sick, tired and having every hormone I swear God created flowing strongly through my veins I was in no mood. I went to my desk and began to see that these weren't normal mistakes I had a case of pregnancy brain which made everything worse. Shortly after this my co-worker walks through the door and simply and pleasantly asks "How are you today, Laura Lou?" I burst into tears, luckily the man has four kids and was very understanding and concerned. After I had consoled him and proven that I would be ok, which in fact I wouldn't I just didn't want to scar the poor man for life, I turned back to face my pile of mistakes. I began to cry uncontrollably. Unable to regain any form or semblance or composure I marched back to the Office Manager, shut the door to her office and stated that I was sorry I couldn't control the tears before I came back here but there was just no way I could do it. I informed her that I was delusional when I said I could work full time and in fact I can't. She was very sweet and understanding. She had lost a baby in her second trimester because she had taken on too much at work and she was no where near as sick as I am. She was hoping I would come to this conclusion on my own so she wouldn't have to watch me experience what she went through. Having miscarried only once and very early on I understand to a small degree what that loss feels likes. At this point in my pregnancy I don't even want to imagine what that would be like. I was thankful for her that morning as she cried with me and told me everything would be ok and we would hire someone new. I said I would stick it out as long as I could to help transition a new person into the office. This morning I had a visit with my toilet. So I called in and said I would be late and I sit at home trying to ease my stomach back to a place where I can make it through the rest of the day. Thankfully there is a light at the end of one tunnel. I will not be working for much longer.